I am a lonely person. I am a busy person. To explain what I do is actually pretty simple. Now that I have some time on my hands, let me do just that. But this short note on myself will not be as simple as what I do, because I am very complex.
I am the head of an international enterprise. I hold the absolute monopoly in the field and that explains why I am so busy. I have been doing the same thing for as long as I remember. I am too old now to even contemplate those heady early days when I first sensed the opportunity. Now, of course, everyone knows what I do. In fact, no one on this planet can say that they haven’t known me. I am in the transportation and courier services industry – to put it very broadly. But let me assure you, this is unlike any of those overnight or overseas delivery companies you see advertised on TV and hoardings and where-not these days. My service is the fastest and the most wide-spread one by far. I provide my services to everyone, and I don’t charge a penny! There are, however, many related industries which thrive because of work that I do. I don’t have any problem whatsoever with that. To each his own. All I ever wanted was power, absolute power, which I wield already.
I run a very tight ship, taking care of almost all the transactions my enterprise is involved in. Not for me the laissez-faire management and delegation that every one seems to engage in nowadays. This has led many to believe that I am at many places at the same time. They are not too wrong actually. Of course, I do give a lot of leeway to my dedicated development staff. They’re still learning. In the early years of my career, I used to be very innovative, if I say so myself. I was the first one to realize the benefits of economy in bulk. I was the pioneer in mass-targeted outreach campaigns. At the same time I am also a strong advocate of personalized individual attention for all my clients. Little surprise then that my clientèle includes the best among men, and the worst among men. Not that they have any alternate choice in the matter. Call me boastful if you will, but this is the truth. It’s been too long since those days though. Everything those kids in development tell me nowadays, I have done before. But there are some exciting new ideas, which seem very promising in the field trials. Of course, they’re all variations of previous experiences of mine. I am getting bored – maybe it is because of the monopoly I have! You wouldn’t have seen me indulging in such retrospective musings just sometime back.
There are, however, some interesting wrinkles to iron over every now and then. Some people don’t quite understand that they don’t have a choice in whether they deal with me or not. It’s just a matter of time. I am patient; I can wait. You’d come to me yourself someday. If you don’t, I’ll come myself, personally, to make sure you don’t miss your appointment with me. Considerate of me, isn’t it? There are again those who think that they’d deal with me on their own terms – fat chance of that actually being true. I think I deserve to use those words immortalized by Don Corleone more than he ever did – I make people the offers they can’t refuse, really can’t refuse. To all those pretentious many who think they can say that they’ve dealt with me on their own terms, I have this to say – I win all the time; and the terms are my own. Do not deceive yourselves.
There goes my buzzer – I am already late for an appointment, and in spite of the monopoly I have, I don’t believe in keeping people waiting. I have been too cryptic so far. So let me introduce myself and get this over with.
I am the Grim Reaper. Yes, I am Death… And I will come see you sometime. You can count on that, if on nothing else!
Sai’s Note – I have been wanting to write something for quite a while now. These last two sentences “I am the Grim Reaper. Yes, I am Death!” popped up in my head, from nowhere. So this is a very poor attempt at expanding on those two sentences without giving out anything in all that precedes these sentences. Hopefully this isn’t too bad an attempt – I solely blame my long layoff period from writing for anything bad about this piece. Feedback welcome, obviously.
Originally written – January 29, 2006.